Natalie Ustymenko

Head of Direct Marketing

Some secrets from Donna Juanna: how to win subscriber’s heart

There’s often made an analogy between the stages of picking up the girl and multistage sales. Here is some truth: a gradual development of relations, unexpected surprises, and gifts, hopes for something more, and common plans for the future. As Dmitry Kudrenko said at Email Summit 2014 in Las Vegas, Sin City, this topic was especially actual and was discussed in different ways in every report. Dmitry shared his impressions of the conference so passionate that I got into the spirit of "romantic relationships with clients" and decided to write the following article :)

For the first time, we considered the stages of sales in the context of phased relationship discussing the "Permission marketing" book by Seth Godin. Dmitry often gives example from a book when Godin describes two ways to marry (on the samples of marketers from distraction and permission marketing schools). There are many similar analogies, so let's look at the marketing stages in a bit humoristic way.

Chicks + Marketing = Love?

If you decide to "pick up" you need to make efforts, even more - a serious effort. You have to think about how you will win the object of your desire and what are you going to do with it further. In any relationship, we are always afraid of rejection, no matter whether it's a girl, a man, or our client. When you are denied at some point it does not mean you are a bad person, just wait for something better and there is something to work on. For better understanding let's make a play with these approaches in different phases projecting them on email marketing.

One email is not enough to win the object of lust. Although, if you are an email pickup master you will seduce user to basket at the first message. Nevertheless, we are adherents of more peaceful and unhurried relations progress, so we will build our consistent relations strategy.

1. You are not even introduced yet

Everything starts when the client does not even know you. He may guess that you exist somewhere but he doesn’t know exactly. We need to think our steps over before proceeding. The first thing we face is a wide choice. There are so many attractive customers around but we need to weed out all those definitely having no chance to walk alongside. Psychologists often say that we attract what we want. Imagine clearly whom you want to build relationships: appearance, age, interests, etc. Such a relationship will last much longer;) 

Preparing for a date, marketing tips and tricks:

  • Have a neat look. Would you go to a date in a bright Hawaiian shirt, shorts, socks, and tattered flip-flops? Probably not. Make your emails attractive. Start introducing with Welcome Series or trigger messages. A good-looking template is unlikely to harm your email but on the contrary, it will rather interest your client.
  • Get the name. You do not say a person you like "hey you!", isn’t it? The personal treatment causes much more confidence. That's why it is important to motivate the client to introduce himself before writing. If we consider the pickup process as a series of emails then the title of your subscription page will be a kind of this first phrase after attracting attention. Convincing the next phrase to pay attention you will get the required email / phone number and customer name.
  • Think over the topic. How will you intrigue the client and start your chat? Every time, an email subject is a phase of familiarity. The only difference is in the ways of its expression at every new stage of relations progress. Just ask too early or too much and the answer will be NO, you will be refused in one click.
  • Do not hurry. Think about each turn of relationship building - will you say words of caress to your client, or make gifts, write romantic letters, etc. Set the proper rhythm of relations for not to fade away after the first message and not to say “there is nothing to write about”.

So all you need now is to prepare the whole content and proceed to the next marketing step.


It’s not necessary for the template to shine with all the colors of the rainbow and be overfilled with useful links. As for me, brief info to prepare introduction is quite enough.

2. It’s enough just to get introduced to take the next step

For example, the first phrase addressed to the object of lust when you are not even looked at practically does not matter. It is necessary to attract attention and become interesting.

Mailing permission is not a priority - it’s too easy to be lost. A crucial thing is to catch attention...

Set the right tone for a relationship: how to get communicated and what to write about. Don’t show your character immediately and don’t blindly follow the client. Be frank and honest from the very beginning; in fact, your amazing intellect and rich inner world are indifferent to the client if he once seemed boring and uninteresting to him. It may be possible to change his mind but this is too difficult.

What you have not to do:

  • start communicating with cliche;
  • make obscene offers immediately;
  • to be rude and brutal;
  • write with mistakes.

First communication with client

Make your way of communication pleasant to be interesting for your companion. Add some humor to what you say. Positivity is the best thing in any relationship and it is remembered for a long. You can also become even closer immediately, introduce yourself and tell a bit about yourself.

Communication with client in welcome-email

What shall we get as a result:

  • You are known and recognized
  • You have passed one step further
  • You still want more

3. You began to communicate and know each other much more

You are already trusted and you are read; sometimes you chat about nothing but another time your conversations are quite useful.

Welcome letter

Not everybody like this stage of the relationship because it takes a lot of time, persistence and patience. The point is that client will trust only a reliable person, so only perseverance can easily win any heart.

What shall we get:

  • You are being read and constantly communicated
  • Communication becomes franker
  • Still, further stage is not reached

Stunning email-marketing

4. Let’s pass to the active stage

Waiting too long you can hang at the stage of simple communication. We make it clear that we a looking for something more than just communication - it would be good if customer also buys something. We use all the ways: discounts, promotions, and individual offers. The most important thing at this stage is to protect yourself from fears. Have you stabilized relations? Well, it's time to go to the restaurant and give flowers! We behave easy and natural but not too intrusive for not to scare companion.

Unique promocode in email

From time to time Yves Rocher enriches his email newsletters with offers just impossible to pass by! Here is a decent motivation when women run to buy cosmetics. Once every six or two months, it does not matter. The priority is to make the object of your desire understand that you are spending efforts on him/her and looking for mutuality.

5. Something is going wrong

Your website is not visited for a month, nothing is ordered, mailings are not read and no one contacts you? Call and write, get to know why the customer did not click the cherished "Buy" button, not abandoned the basket, ignore the online classes, etc.

Good try to return client

A good try to return client. The text is quite sincere and it is immediately clear what is needed from the customer. As for me (a girl and a client in one person), it's nice that someone noticed my absence on the website and tries to take me back :) Without further ado and ads, no accusations and swears - only pleasant words.

Return to client

Please note that there is no link to unsubscribe in the email, it was made to give a client an option to change the information about himself in any case.

What we get:

  • The client reaches the point we need
  • He refuses some service or goods, not us

Do not cry and yell "come back, let's try again!" If you let the client decide for himself - he will return when he needs.

6. Say thanks

In any relationship, it is important to thank your partner for every little thing, not even significant. Especially when you are already at the stage of "more than just holding hands" and something more serious is between you. All in all, you may thank the client at any stage, let it just be sincere.

Say thanks

I received this email soon after ordering - it’s nice :) The only thing I was VERY confused with: "...a new member of the shopping club." I am already a member for a year. It was probably an attention test :)

Last post

7. Celebrate together

Do not forget about romantic, it is able to melt even icy hearts. People miss romantic and festival moods too much in their busy everyday life.

Birthday's letter

Regular congratulations are always pleasant for customers but they would like to face something more. Why not write: "Last year you celebrated your birthday with us", or "In 5 days you have a birthday! As an owner of a "golden card" you will be granted a 30% discount on the whole menu in our restaurant" etc. Make it personal! So the client just can not pass your message by.

8. Giving the apartment keys and hints for future

Since the very first email, or maybe in further communication... - just tell about the advantages of collaboration with you:

  • Gifts for regular clients
  • Discounts
  • VIP statuses, etc.

Welcome letter

The more radiant prospects the client shall see, the more sure is that he will stay with you and trust you further.

9. Making friends with relatives

One of the most pleasant moments when the client tells about you without any shame but rather proudly. He forwards your emails, talks about you on social networks, etc.

What we get:

  • the viral effect of your mailings;
  • new subscribers;
  • loyal customers

Warning: Never make the next step without mutuality. You must consistently pass through all the stages. There are no universal recipes to win the hearts but if you act purposefully and everything is mutual your "pick up" will be accepted at any stage.

So easy and with humor we imagined how we may care about customers and get positive feedback. If you have interesting stories about building relationships with clients - feel free to share! We shall read them with joy.

See you soon!;)

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Natalie Ustymenko

Head of Direct Marketing

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